Wrestle Kingdom 9
4th January 2015
Tokyo Dome, Tokyo
Have you ever tried to explain wrestling to someone who doesn't like wrestling, or worse, have you ever tried to explain why you like wrestling to someone who has for whatever reason decided to kneejerk stance against wrestling? I'm sure you have and are familiar with that sense that, despite being an articulate and otherwise respected human being, the words are sticking in your throat/keyboard fingers and you're slipping on the edge at some recently-erected social cliff-face.
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| NO TEXT |
I took a month from the regular beat of sporadically covering entire events because I'm a puny pencil-necked geek, rather than to specifically build toward the Dome Show. But that rest, positioned during the time of year when the eyes are subject to maximal razzmatazz, turned out to be just what the doctor ordered for me before attending to a swelling purpleness on the rear end of CM Punk.
Refreshed, relaxed, slightly less-attached to the prospects of any individual wrestler and without concern about draw or company direction, I sat in the lounge of a friend and cracked a beer at 8.25am and watched in the most devil-may-care mode I can adopt. NJPW World was our chosen vessel because for whatever reason the Flipps thing was not 'throwing' over to a smart TV (did I get this terminology right?) and aside from a light judder on the pre-show it worked beautifully and smoothly despite the homeowner worrying about his shoddy internet.
In case you're not a regular reader here is the very potted history of this show: multo-multo importante, "Japanese Wrestlemania", showcase of the immortals, theatre of dreams, stadium of nightmares, Toru Yano loses to RVD in the most important wrestling match ever, goodnight.
Over to the show YYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhh!
PRE-SHOW: 15 MAN NEW JAPAN RUMBLE
Participants: Yuji Nagata, TAKA Michinoku, Tiger Mask, El Desperado, Jushin 'Thunder' Liger, Taichi, YOSHI-HASHI, Tama Tonga, Manabu Nakanishi, Hiro Saito, Captain New Japan, Yohei Komatsu, Sho Tanaka, The Great Kabuki and Yoshiaki Fujiwara
I'd love to say that the morning of marking out began when all 65 years of Yoshiaki Fujiwara wandered into the ring wearing a t-shirt with the legend FUJIWARA ARMBAR (how does he know me? Is he a fan?) but if truth be told dear reader it had begun a little while earlier when Tiger Mask wandered out with two Tiger Mask cubs and then Yuji Nagata came out and I was like 'cripes this is a lot of talent on the pre-show and also Tiger Mask'.
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| Maybe this is the beginning of TAKA mending his ways, becoming a good human being |
Pitched somewhere between the Gimmick Battle Royale from WWE's wildly-successful Wrestlemania X7 and a payday for some dudes squeezed out by the reduced time window for the event, the match surfed a rolling wave of pleasant nostalgia and occasional spotty hilarity but strayed wonderfully adrift of anything resembling a good match. Hiro Saito sentonned everyone to fuck, Fujiwara ripped into someone with his eponymous armbar and the Great Kabuki, as pictured above, misted some folk to death.
Yuji Nagata, the best wrestler in there, won a match that is beyond the ken of the average Japanese road agent (lots of standing around and waiting for something to happen, occasionally resembling a scrum at a bus stop). Ultimately it was for very little. **
Nagata d. 14 other competitors.
A lovely video package (possibly superfluous 'lovely' there, New Japan's videos are generally excellent and have a dynamic range to them that I haven't seen anywhere else) signifies the beginning of the real show, welcoming the USA and Canada and probably several other former British colonies to the table too.
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
reDRagon (Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly) (c) vs. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) vs. Forever Hooligans (Rocky Romero and Alex Koslov) vs. Time Splitters (Alex Shelley and KUSHIDA)
Ping ping ping whizz jump flip bang crash flip whoop whee oooooh crash smash ding dong slam whirl fly deke miss wow reverse duck splash TEAMWORK ping ping headlock counter TIMING stand outside waiting for your bit wheep peep ping pong whizz jump SUPERKICK SUPERKICK SUPERKICK etc.
Good match this. Fans of wrestling psychology as established in the golden era of territory-led USA or when Japanese wrestling was a duopoly between Inoki and Giant Baba should probably look away. Personally I'd rather see a traditional tag team match between any two pairs but I'm not complaining. It was the wrestling equivalent of a thirteen minute expert pinball session, your eyes focusing on a constant array of tricky arrangement, physics-defying ricocheting and flashing lights masking the seemingly senseless walloping of everything in sight.
If the title was decided by a style jury then I'm giving the belt to the Young Bucks, not least because they debuted the Meltzer Driver (Springboard 450 into Spike Tombstone) but because they're the kings of this style and this style (which, if I haven't made abundantly clear, features a lot of demanding, fast and immaculately-timed acrobatics) is what these matches are about, and I'm giving second place to reDRagon, who won the actual match (which is far less important than impressing me, obviously) but also I am not saying to neither Splitters nor Hooligans that you guys didn't do some good stuff out there bros, it's just the way the cards fell on the night.
If this match had taken place in one of the American super-indies like ROH or PWG then this is how the crowd for this match would have been: UUHHHHH! OOOOHHHH! UUUUUHHHHHHHHH! FUCK! THIS IS AWESOME CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP! In the gradually-filling Dome it was received a little more coldly, a slight pity, but in this case more fool them. ***1/2
reDRagon d. Young Bucks, Forever Hooligans and Time Splitters
Bullet Club (Yujiro Takahashi, Jeff Jarrett and Bad Luck Fale) vs. TenCozy (Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima) and Tomoaki Honma
The more alarmist members of the Twitter NJPW community, of which there are several, felt that upon the arrival of Jeff Jarrett to the delicately-composed halls where New Japan doth roam that an immediate downturn for the creative element of the business was in order and, worse, that Jarrett would somehow get into the title mix for the company. Allow me this indulgent moment of bellylaughing.
A short match, that I have a feeling was hastily rewritten upon the injury of Yoshitatsu, delivered exactly what it needed to: a Bullet Club defeat at the hands of the company babyfaces to beat back the foreigner advance. The beneficiary of said injury is once again Tomoaki Honma, the man who stepped into the fray during the G1 tournament after Kota Ibushi became unable to compete and lost every single match, who shrugs off the lack of concrete plans for himself like a trooper.
Honma capitalises on a misplaced guitar shot from Jarrett to Takahashi and wins with Kokeshi, the greatest finishing move in all of wrestling: essentially a diving headbutt, except he falls and smiles whilst doing it. It is completely ridiculous and conceivably harmful and his success rate in 2014 is approximately 0.3%. **1/2
Honma and TenCozy d. Bullet Club
Suzuki-gun (Davey Boy Smith Jr., Lance Archer, Shelton X. Benjamin and Takashi Iizuka) vs. Toru Yano, Naomichi Marufuji and TMDK (Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls)
New Japan and rival company (well, not really rivals given contrasting fortunes) Pro-Wrestling NOAH have announced some kind of relationship that will provide a televised, respected outlet for NJPW talent that hasn't much to do and will afford NJPW the chance to loan NOAH talent to bulk out divisions that occasionally ail (everything outside the heavyweight singles scene).
This match was more of a informal public announcement rather than serving any great propulsion to an angle or a take-home spectacle. Which is nice, and besides, the 5 minutes we got we saw an awesome chokeslam from Archer, the TMDK guys do some cool stuff, DBS Jr. looking trim and tigerish and Marufuji picking up the win as all GHC Heavyweight Champions probably should. **1/2
Yano, Marufuji and TMDK d. Suzuki-gun
FULL COMPLETION/UWFi RULES
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
reDRagon (Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly) (c) vs. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) vs. Forever Hooligans (Rocky Romero and Alex Koslov) vs. Time Splitters (Alex Shelley and KUSHIDA)
Ping ping ping whizz jump flip bang crash flip whoop whee oooooh crash smash ding dong slam whirl fly deke miss wow reverse duck splash TEAMWORK ping ping headlock counter TIMING stand outside waiting for your bit wheep peep ping pong whizz jump SUPERKICK SUPERKICK SUPERKICK etc.
Good match this. Fans of wrestling psychology as established in the golden era of territory-led USA or when Japanese wrestling was a duopoly between Inoki and Giant Baba should probably look away. Personally I'd rather see a traditional tag team match between any two pairs but I'm not complaining. It was the wrestling equivalent of a thirteen minute expert pinball session, your eyes focusing on a constant array of tricky arrangement, physics-defying ricocheting and flashing lights masking the seemingly senseless walloping of everything in sight.
If the title was decided by a style jury then I'm giving the belt to the Young Bucks, not least because they debuted the Meltzer Driver (Springboard 450 into Spike Tombstone) but because they're the kings of this style and this style (which, if I haven't made abundantly clear, features a lot of demanding, fast and immaculately-timed acrobatics) is what these matches are about, and I'm giving second place to reDRagon, who won the actual match (which is far less important than impressing me, obviously) but also I am not saying to neither Splitters nor Hooligans that you guys didn't do some good stuff out there bros, it's just the way the cards fell on the night.
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| CHAMPEENS (cont.) |
reDRagon d. Young Bucks, Forever Hooligans and Time Splitters
Bullet Club (Yujiro Takahashi, Jeff Jarrett and Bad Luck Fale) vs. TenCozy (Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima) and Tomoaki Honma
The more alarmist members of the Twitter NJPW community, of which there are several, felt that upon the arrival of Jeff Jarrett to the delicately-composed halls where New Japan doth roam that an immediate downturn for the creative element of the business was in order and, worse, that Jarrett would somehow get into the title mix for the company. Allow me this indulgent moment of bellylaughing.
A short match, that I have a feeling was hastily rewritten upon the injury of Yoshitatsu, delivered exactly what it needed to: a Bullet Club defeat at the hands of the company babyfaces to beat back the foreigner advance. The beneficiary of said injury is once again Tomoaki Honma, the man who stepped into the fray during the G1 tournament after Kota Ibushi became unable to compete and lost every single match, who shrugs off the lack of concrete plans for himself like a trooper.
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| KOKESHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Honma and TenCozy d. Bullet Club
Suzuki-gun (Davey Boy Smith Jr., Lance Archer, Shelton X. Benjamin and Takashi Iizuka) vs. Toru Yano, Naomichi Marufuji and TMDK (Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls)
New Japan and rival company (well, not really rivals given contrasting fortunes) Pro-Wrestling NOAH have announced some kind of relationship that will provide a televised, respected outlet for NJPW talent that hasn't much to do and will afford NJPW the chance to loan NOAH talent to bulk out divisions that occasionally ail (everything outside the heavyweight singles scene).
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| Chokeslam To Heck |
Yano, Marufuji and TMDK d. Suzuki-gun
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| BONUS PICTURE: Haste, Yano, Marufuji, Nicholls |
FULL COMPLETION/UWFi RULES
Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Minoru Suzuki
I have always been a fan of special ring gear for major events, from Daniel Bryan's furry boots in tribute to Bruiser Brody or when CM Punk wore Yankees pinstripes when facing John Cena in Boston (a reference the sport of 'base ball', which two teams have 1 hour to find as many balls as they can and store them in a designated 'base') but Minoru Suzuki has re-established the bar which all major wrestlers should seek to clear. Everything that he wore that was once black (boots, trunks, hair, eyebrows) is now white. Whilst it's a throwback to his Pancrase days, it also makes him look like God Mode Suzuki.
By contrast Sakuraba works this match in his breathable technical shirt, which is fine for him because he has a decent resume but next to Minoru he does look a bit like a dude plucked out of the crowd.
The story here is of two MMA guys from rival historical promotions finally getting the definitive worked match in the years beyond their shooter pomp. The rules state that only knockout, submission or a referee stoppage can end this one, which practically guarantees some form of brutality.
Opening with expert-level grappling, exchanging rapid turns in charge, the match establishes itself as that curious beast of the worked shoot. At first I did wonder whether this would alienate Johnny and Judy Newfan, but this is a different era than when I sat ashen-faced through three worked shoots on a Zero1 show in 2002: we know what MMA is and what the matches look like and this, give or take, looks a bit like that.
Sakuraba wrenches Suzuki in a kimura on the ramp. The referee breaks the hold but the damage is done; Suzuki sells his arm so hard that it appears that he can't even raise it to defend himself against the punishing barefoot kicks that The Gracie Hunter is smashing him with. Suzuki works his way back in with a disgusting series of slaps before locking in the saka otoshi and choking Sakuraba out for the clean win in the centre of the ring which is a massive deal because Sakuraba doesn't tap for anyone yyyhheeeeeeahhh!
The two, who have exchanged barbs and batterings galore in the run up to this event, show respect at the end (which for Minoru Suzuki is about as rare as Sakuraba getting his ass whooped) and all is good with the world. A fun ride that wasn't quite what I thought it would be, but was still interesting. ***1/4
Suzuki d. Sakuraba
NEVER OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Tomohiro Ishii (c) vs. Togi Makabe
Stand the hell back. Greatest wrestler of 2014 coming through. Make way for the Stone Pitbull.
Upon defeating the not inestimable Hirooki Goto at Power Struggle, Tomohiro Ishii got in the face of Togi Makabe, who was only there to check the health of his fellow gruff babyface. I don't think Ishii knows the meaning of the word 'hubris' and right now he is paying a heavy price.
Y'see, it's all well and good being a gruff battlebot dontgiveafuck veteran brawler but Makabe is also one of those too and he has championship experience in the bag as well. Both men are held together with string and the wishes of children but nonetheless they flog each other and themselves mercilessly as the NEVER title (a tertiary title for least self-regarding wrestlers who would run headfirst at a wall) unofficially dictates.
Irreverancy aside this was another very good match wherein two guys beat the holy hell out of each other for my absolute pleasure and entertainment and did a bang-up job of it. On New Year's Eve a firework went off right near my ear with a loud CRRRAAACK sound that Makabe thankfully recreated for me every time he smacked Ishii with a lariat.
The psychology is there too; Ishii has been working hurt for ages and, just as many people did to him throughout 2014, Makabe targets the hurt bit relentlessly and makes it hurt more and more and more until it stops. Ishii takes a full-service no-frills old-style German Suplex-based walloping, giving plenty back with chops and forearms and sickening headbutts but nonetheless doing a clean job to Makabe in Ishii's first featured singles Dome match.
As stated, I did not see the English commentary version, but I imagine any drinking-game based around the word 'slobberknocker' probably began to get a bit debauched here. ****
Makabe d. Ishii to become new NEVER Openweight Champion
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Ryusuke Taguchi (c) vs. Kenny Omega
Up to now everything, even Jeff Jarrett, feels all part of the same universe and complicated storytelling mechanism that observes the same rules and understands the same codes in silent acquiescence. That is until this match and the appearance of Kenny Omega, who appears to have beamed in from the Planet WTF and obeys no laws but his own.
Omega's face, jerking and twitching constantly, and his body, contorting and swaying to suggest and convey his idiosyncratic emotions and arcane motivations, are the real high points of this match. Not that it's a bad match: Rockin' Ryusuke, Japan's Own Fighting Cool Dad, may have a look that is practically the polar opposite of his opponent in terms of visual appeal, but he's a capable wrestler with a track record of big stage performances.
But the match is about making a new fighting star out of Kenny Omega and his actions and motions continually suggest that he would have done so regardless of how the in-ring work turned out; he guides the process so singularly that you occasionally forget that Taguchi is in there trying to compete in a match.
There are some heel shenanigans to remind you that you're not supposed to like Omega, but it will take more than a Young Bucks diversion and hairspray to the face to turn against the new champion. Omega wins with a fantastic finishing segment including a Snap German suplex and the One-Winged Angel and the junior division emerges from its 2014 Q3/4 malaise. ***1/4
Omega d. Taguchi to become new IWGP Jr. Heavyweight champion
IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Bullet Club (Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows) (c) vs. Meiyu Tag (Hirooki Goto and Katsuyori Shibata)
One year ago Bullet Club's Anderson and Gallows, the latter of whom was a mere stripling in terms of New Japan experience, relinquished Killer Elite Squad of their IWGP Tag titles and have, using fair means and foul, protected them like a lion guarding her cubs. The match was set up by Goto and Shibata downing the burly American pair at the World Tag League, pitting the stormy alliance, so often displaying shortcomings as individuals and a team when gold is in reach, against the longest-reigning champions in New Japan.
If there was one match that I felt deserved perhaps three or four more minutes to add drama, it was this one. In the nine minutes they performed in the work was compelling, fluid and believable and every man shone. However, with the backstory somewhat comparable to the main event (tournament winner takes on title holder, also Goto and Anderson were once tag partners) and the champions having held on for a year, divesting them of their hard fought gold in such a match felt a touch anti-climactic.
Shibata and Goto tend to lose by miscommunication rather than lack of talent, so the early play of the missed clothesline granted Bullet Club the momentum that they required to take over the middle of the match rather than feeding into their untimely end. The required elements were all there; a hot tag, a big galoot who needs two men to tie him down, some intricate finisher teasing. It was totally fine and the ending was popular as Goto and Shibata hit the team Go 2 Sleep before Shibata hit the PK to seal his first title since beginning wrestling in 1999, as well as Goto's first in, well, ages. ***1/4
Meiyu Tag d. Bullet Club to become new IWGP Tag Team champions
AJ Styles vs. Tetsuya Naito
Like most issues regarding consent my take on the controversy surrounding the Styles Clash and its ability to SHOOT break the necks of dudes is simply that if both guys truly assent to its performance then there is the covenant of trust and implied level of skill there and to hell with naysayers. OBVIOUSLY I don't want anyone to lose their livelihood but there's a level of risk performing near enough any move in a wrestling ring in front of a crowd with the adrenaline and the exposed surface and thousands of other factors and I don't know that it's necessarily right to single out this one particular move. Feel free to comment if you disagree, happy to talk about it.
How that factors into this match is simple: the commentators take the hype surrounding the move and it hurting Yoshitatsu and sell the move to be a destructor of near Burning Hammer levels of magnitude. Very early on, Styles (in bespoke Dome Show gear, +3pts) attempts the move but Naito wriggles away from the humiliation of a quick squash.
Nonetheless, Styles mostly dominates a fine mid-length match. The two show good, if not perfect, chemistry, working their similarities as much as their disparities as junior-styled heavyweights with an array of swift sequences, quick kicks and using oneself as a moderately aerodynamic projectile. Styles hits the Bloody Sunday and utilises the Calf Killer to work Naito's legs, but they smartly move attention away from the real finish.
Naito, with Styles stricken atop the turnbuckle, attempts a hurricanrana. Styles blocks and stands, Naito's legs wrapped around his shoulders, and hooks in for the Styles Clash whilst stood on the second turnbuckle. The crowd and commentators erupt in fear as Naito thrashes wildly to avoid the kiss of death. Styles lurches forward and delivers, Naito's head safely back, and scoops the power-restoring win for the westerners watching abroad whilst everyone else slumps in relief that Naito isn't dead. ***3/4
Styles d. Naito
IWGP INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Kota Ibushi
For me the question about Kota Ibushi was not whether he could one day become a superstar on the biggest stage by developing the necessary skills, but whether the wrestling world would realise that Ibushi was ahead of the curve and itself needed to catch up on his excellence at wrestling a match, conveying a character and attracting an audience. For years Ibushi has worked at the highest level and his crime? Weighing marginally less than the optimum.
There were no such questions in my mind regarding Shinsuke Nakamura. I read a thing recently (I wish I had this link to share in all of its absolute contemptibility) that posited that, after witnessing Nakamura perform at the Ring of Honor show in New York in 2014, Nakamura in-ring was nothing more than a series of knee lifts and his charisma was little other than waggling his arms and pulling faces on his ring entrance. Of course some people prefer MOVEZ GUYZ who can spout gibberish on cue and that's cool but this is one spectacular example of someone Not Getting The Business.
Ibushi enters first, looking fired-up and collected, the calm demeanour of the quietly confident. Nakamura, the champion, enters wearing a crown, looking part-Voldo from Soul Calibre, part-deranged monarch and part-coke-fuelled nightmare, a leather-obsessed wrestling version of John Belushi.
Picking up storyline where their match in 2013 left off, with Nakamura bullying the boyish Ibushi to a hardfought victory, the two resume their chemistry at the exact point it was left at the very moment of the final slapping of hand to the canvas by the referee on that day.
That match, nearly 18 months ago, was one of the all-time greats. It bent and swayed atop a fine wire of drama, precariously stacking predicament on predicament until the structure came tumbling down with Nakamura's gunshot Boma Ye to Ibushi's stranded head, with Shinpei Nogami on commentary screaming the last capillary out of his body.
This match, on a bigger stage, with a more palpable weight of expectation, trumps it. You know how reviewers occasionally say 'if it had a couple more minutes it could have been better'. Well, this match takes up everything that was fantastic about their initial meeting, strips out some of the stuff that didn't work as well and adds a whole new vista of exchanges and character developments that hit home every single time.
Nakamura, often phlegmatic, is driven to caring by the force of his charged-up opponent. The natural heel inside Nakamura rises to the surface, provoked by Ibushi's imitation of Nakamura's finisher. I'd go mad listing all of the incredible stuff the pair pulled off, but it's tempting; Nakamura's flying armbar counter to Ibushi's power-up lariat and Ibushi's out-of-nothing double stomp to Nakamura which defied all known rules of how human bodies should work are two good working examples
Nakamura won with a Boma Ye after 21 minutes of see-sawing, gnarled tension. No matter because no one really lost. The character work shown by both was outstanding. Nakamura's constant way with motion and presence and the way he understands space gives his matches an often-ethereal quality is nonpareil. Combined with a rule-flaunting worker such as Ibushi, on such an occasion, in a match worked with such passion and vigour and goddamn enjoyment, I can in good conscience go no lower than full marks. *****
Nakamura d. Ibushi
IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada
Following that is no mean feat and if it were possible to do so with no harm done it might have been advised for this match to holdover to New Beginning. But they can't and that is the lot of the headliner: go out and be the show.
The expectation for this match is practically impossible. Not only has the previous match made the going tough, the meaning to a potential new market in the west and the weight of history and the standards set by the competitors is almost too much to bear. Six matches of such impeccable standards that critics and fans are comparing the feud to Rock vs. Austin and Misawa vs. Kobashi and Michaels vs. Hart that it's enough to make you sick with the hype and praise.
Up to now we've had flips and we've had shenanigans and we've had hard fought fury and ostentatious character work but we haven't had a match where both competitors project superstardom to the very back of the stadium. It's the difference I sometimes find hard to acknowledge between guys like Ishii and Tanahashi. Ultimately only the latter has the capacity to completely change the atmosphere in a building by emerging into the light.
The match operates as expect in the continuum of their great series thus far. Okada leads 3-2, with one draw. The time remaining on the broadcast clock is beneath one hour, ruling out the draw, but keeping the opportunity to run to epic lengths.
Matches between Okada and Tanahashi are very much the epitome of the modern main event style, a style difficult to pin down in a sentence, but one that seems to amalgamate a little bit of everything good and operate with a sensible structure that leads through the psychology of limb work to pre-determined tugs on the momentum of the match toward the inexorable exchange of counters, reversals and ultimately, finishers.
Often this style can be dull as ditchwater and completely predictable, as well as lacking that visceral bone-on-bone thud that heavyweight midcarders often present. Between these two, as made for each other as Fred and Ginger, it is elevated to the highest aspect of the artform; the multi-stranded narrative that is compiled bit by bit.
For example: when Okada faced down Tanahashi after he captured the title at King of Pro-Wrestling, his speech touched on how Tanahashi was essentially past it and that Okada wasn't some flash-in-the-pan but a 2-time champ, 2-time G1 winner and was set to take over as the face of the company for the foreseeable. A few minutes into the match, as Okada dominates Tanahashi, with the champ struggling to get his punches in, my friend (who wasn't in on the story) turns and says "they're doing a great job of making Tanahashi look past it." These two are such masters of the wrestling language that they can make bits of their match map onto the trajectory of their story.
And if you're a fan of MOVEZ then this match had those too: Tanahashi took a leaf out of his idol Shawn Michaels' playbook by unleashing a Big Show Death Defying Leap, hitting the High Fly Flow crossbody over the railing from the top turnbuckle. In the ring, Tanahashi pasted Okada with another High Fly Flow, usually certain death, but the challenger kicked out. Returning the favour, Tanahashi kicked out of the Rainmaker, which Okada reversed into after the champion impudently attempted one of his own. Oh, and Okada hit that dropkick. I honestly can't believe how over a fucking dropkick is in 2015 but goddamn it's a good dropkick.
Anyway. This match is really really good. It's a 30 minuter, which in this day and age feels archaic, but it's worth it. At the conclusion of the match itself, won by Tanahashi with High Fly Flow, I felt it was the thinnest sliver beneath the previous match.
But, as Okada left, he burst into tears. As a dramatic flourish it possessed something the Nakamura match did not. It was fine acting, the rich boy who has struggled to connect because his freakish athleticism and moneymaking gimmick makes him practically unrelatable and untouchable becoming completely human.
Tanahashi celebrated in the ring after cutting a smug promo toward Okada in the midst of his emotional retreat. No one challenged him and the show closed with the exhalation of everyone watching wondering how the hell anyone can top this this year. *****
Tanahashi d. Okada
I have always been a fan of special ring gear for major events, from Daniel Bryan's furry boots in tribute to Bruiser Brody or when CM Punk wore Yankees pinstripes when facing John Cena in Boston (a reference the sport of 'base ball', which two teams have 1 hour to find as many balls as they can and store them in a designated 'base') but Minoru Suzuki has re-established the bar which all major wrestlers should seek to clear. Everything that he wore that was once black (boots, trunks, hair, eyebrows) is now white. Whilst it's a throwback to his Pancrase days, it also makes him look like God Mode Suzuki.
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| I think someone pressed C-right on the player select screen |
The story here is of two MMA guys from rival historical promotions finally getting the definitive worked match in the years beyond their shooter pomp. The rules state that only knockout, submission or a referee stoppage can end this one, which practically guarantees some form of brutality.
Opening with expert-level grappling, exchanging rapid turns in charge, the match establishes itself as that curious beast of the worked shoot. At first I did wonder whether this would alienate Johnny and Judy Newfan, but this is a different era than when I sat ashen-faced through three worked shoots on a Zero1 show in 2002: we know what MMA is and what the matches look like and this, give or take, looks a bit like that.
Sakuraba wrenches Suzuki in a kimura on the ramp. The referee breaks the hold but the damage is done; Suzuki sells his arm so hard that it appears that he can't even raise it to defend himself against the punishing barefoot kicks that The Gracie Hunter is smashing him with. Suzuki works his way back in with a disgusting series of slaps before locking in the saka otoshi and choking Sakuraba out for the clean win in the centre of the ring which is a massive deal because Sakuraba doesn't tap for anyone yyyhheeeeeeahhh!
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| aww you guyses |
Suzuki d. Sakuraba
NEVER OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Tomohiro Ishii (c) vs. Togi Makabe
Stand the hell back. Greatest wrestler of 2014 coming through. Make way for the Stone Pitbull.
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| This will hurt him as much as it will hurt you |
Y'see, it's all well and good being a gruff battlebot dontgiveafuck veteran brawler but Makabe is also one of those too and he has championship experience in the bag as well. Both men are held together with string and the wishes of children but nonetheless they flog each other and themselves mercilessly as the NEVER title (a tertiary title for least self-regarding wrestlers who would run headfirst at a wall) unofficially dictates.
Irreverancy aside this was another very good match wherein two guys beat the holy hell out of each other for my absolute pleasure and entertainment and did a bang-up job of it. On New Year's Eve a firework went off right near my ear with a loud CRRRAAACK sound that Makabe thankfully recreated for me every time he smacked Ishii with a lariat.
The psychology is there too; Ishii has been working hurt for ages and, just as many people did to him throughout 2014, Makabe targets the hurt bit relentlessly and makes it hurt more and more and more until it stops. Ishii takes a full-service no-frills old-style German Suplex-based walloping, giving plenty back with chops and forearms and sickening headbutts but nonetheless doing a clean job to Makabe in Ishii's first featured singles Dome match.
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| YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA |
Makabe d. Ishii to become new NEVER Openweight Champion
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Ryusuke Taguchi (c) vs. Kenny Omega
Up to now everything, even Jeff Jarrett, feels all part of the same universe and complicated storytelling mechanism that observes the same rules and understands the same codes in silent acquiescence. That is until this match and the appearance of Kenny Omega, who appears to have beamed in from the Planet WTF and obeys no laws but his own.
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| Looks painful, but probably an aesthetic improvement |
But the match is about making a new fighting star out of Kenny Omega and his actions and motions continually suggest that he would have done so regardless of how the in-ring work turned out; he guides the process so singularly that you occasionally forget that Taguchi is in there trying to compete in a match.
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| CHAMP IS HERE |
Omega d. Taguchi to become new IWGP Jr. Heavyweight champion
IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Bullet Club (Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows) (c) vs. Meiyu Tag (Hirooki Goto and Katsuyori Shibata)
One year ago Bullet Club's Anderson and Gallows, the latter of whom was a mere stripling in terms of New Japan experience, relinquished Killer Elite Squad of their IWGP Tag titles and have, using fair means and foul, protected them like a lion guarding her cubs. The match was set up by Goto and Shibata downing the burly American pair at the World Tag League, pitting the stormy alliance, so often displaying shortcomings as individuals and a team when gold is in reach, against the longest-reigning champions in New Japan.
If there was one match that I felt deserved perhaps three or four more minutes to add drama, it was this one. In the nine minutes they performed in the work was compelling, fluid and believable and every man shone. However, with the backstory somewhat comparable to the main event (tournament winner takes on title holder, also Goto and Anderson were once tag partners) and the champions having held on for a year, divesting them of their hard fought gold in such a match felt a touch anti-climactic.
Shibata and Goto tend to lose by miscommunication rather than lack of talent, so the early play of the missed clothesline granted Bullet Club the momentum that they required to take over the middle of the match rather than feeding into their untimely end. The required elements were all there; a hot tag, a big galoot who needs two men to tie him down, some intricate finisher teasing. It was totally fine and the ending was popular as Goto and Shibata hit the team Go 2 Sleep before Shibata hit the PK to seal his first title since beginning wrestling in 1999, as well as Goto's first in, well, ages. ***1/4
Meiyu Tag d. Bullet Club to become new IWGP Tag Team champions
AJ Styles vs. Tetsuya Naito
Like most issues regarding consent my take on the controversy surrounding the Styles Clash and its ability to SHOOT break the necks of dudes is simply that if both guys truly assent to its performance then there is the covenant of trust and implied level of skill there and to hell with naysayers. OBVIOUSLY I don't want anyone to lose their livelihood but there's a level of risk performing near enough any move in a wrestling ring in front of a crowd with the adrenaline and the exposed surface and thousands of other factors and I don't know that it's necessarily right to single out this one particular move. Feel free to comment if you disagree, happy to talk about it.
How that factors into this match is simple: the commentators take the hype surrounding the move and it hurting Yoshitatsu and sell the move to be a destructor of near Burning Hammer levels of magnitude. Very early on, Styles (in bespoke Dome Show gear, +3pts) attempts the move but Naito wriggles away from the humiliation of a quick squash.
Nonetheless, Styles mostly dominates a fine mid-length match. The two show good, if not perfect, chemistry, working their similarities as much as their disparities as junior-styled heavyweights with an array of swift sequences, quick kicks and using oneself as a moderately aerodynamic projectile. Styles hits the Bloody Sunday and utilises the Calf Killer to work Naito's legs, but they smartly move attention away from the real finish.
Naito, with Styles stricken atop the turnbuckle, attempts a hurricanrana. Styles blocks and stands, Naito's legs wrapped around his shoulders, and hooks in for the Styles Clash whilst stood on the second turnbuckle. The crowd and commentators erupt in fear as Naito thrashes wildly to avoid the kiss of death. Styles lurches forward and delivers, Naito's head safely back, and scoops the power-restoring win for the westerners watching abroad whilst everyone else slumps in relief that Naito isn't dead. ***3/4
Styles d. Naito
IWGP INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Kota Ibushi
For me the question about Kota Ibushi was not whether he could one day become a superstar on the biggest stage by developing the necessary skills, but whether the wrestling world would realise that Ibushi was ahead of the curve and itself needed to catch up on his excellence at wrestling a match, conveying a character and attracting an audience. For years Ibushi has worked at the highest level and his crime? Weighing marginally less than the optimum.
There were no such questions in my mind regarding Shinsuke Nakamura. I read a thing recently (I wish I had this link to share in all of its absolute contemptibility) that posited that, after witnessing Nakamura perform at the Ring of Honor show in New York in 2014, Nakamura in-ring was nothing more than a series of knee lifts and his charisma was little other than waggling his arms and pulling faces on his ring entrance. Of course some people prefer MOVEZ GUYZ who can spout gibberish on cue and that's cool but this is one spectacular example of someone Not Getting The Business.
Ibushi enters first, looking fired-up and collected, the calm demeanour of the quietly confident. Nakamura, the champion, enters wearing a crown, looking part-Voldo from Soul Calibre, part-deranged monarch and part-coke-fuelled nightmare, a leather-obsessed wrestling version of John Belushi.
Picking up storyline where their match in 2013 left off, with Nakamura bullying the boyish Ibushi to a hardfought victory, the two resume their chemistry at the exact point it was left at the very moment of the final slapping of hand to the canvas by the referee on that day.
That match, nearly 18 months ago, was one of the all-time greats. It bent and swayed atop a fine wire of drama, precariously stacking predicament on predicament until the structure came tumbling down with Nakamura's gunshot Boma Ye to Ibushi's stranded head, with Shinpei Nogami on commentary screaming the last capillary out of his body.
This match, on a bigger stage, with a more palpable weight of expectation, trumps it. You know how reviewers occasionally say 'if it had a couple more minutes it could have been better'. Well, this match takes up everything that was fantastic about their initial meeting, strips out some of the stuff that didn't work as well and adds a whole new vista of exchanges and character developments that hit home every single time.
Nakamura, often phlegmatic, is driven to caring by the force of his charged-up opponent. The natural heel inside Nakamura rises to the surface, provoked by Ibushi's imitation of Nakamura's finisher. I'd go mad listing all of the incredible stuff the pair pulled off, but it's tempting; Nakamura's flying armbar counter to Ibushi's power-up lariat and Ibushi's out-of-nothing double stomp to Nakamura which defied all known rules of how human bodies should work are two good working examples
Nakamura won with a Boma Ye after 21 minutes of see-sawing, gnarled tension. No matter because no one really lost. The character work shown by both was outstanding. Nakamura's constant way with motion and presence and the way he understands space gives his matches an often-ethereal quality is nonpareil. Combined with a rule-flaunting worker such as Ibushi, on such an occasion, in a match worked with such passion and vigour and goddamn enjoyment, I can in good conscience go no lower than full marks. *****
Nakamura d. Ibushi
IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada
Following that is no mean feat and if it were possible to do so with no harm done it might have been advised for this match to holdover to New Beginning. But they can't and that is the lot of the headliner: go out and be the show.
The expectation for this match is practically impossible. Not only has the previous match made the going tough, the meaning to a potential new market in the west and the weight of history and the standards set by the competitors is almost too much to bear. Six matches of such impeccable standards that critics and fans are comparing the feud to Rock vs. Austin and Misawa vs. Kobashi and Michaels vs. Hart that it's enough to make you sick with the hype and praise.
Up to now we've had flips and we've had shenanigans and we've had hard fought fury and ostentatious character work but we haven't had a match where both competitors project superstardom to the very back of the stadium. It's the difference I sometimes find hard to acknowledge between guys like Ishii and Tanahashi. Ultimately only the latter has the capacity to completely change the atmosphere in a building by emerging into the light.
The match operates as expect in the continuum of their great series thus far. Okada leads 3-2, with one draw. The time remaining on the broadcast clock is beneath one hour, ruling out the draw, but keeping the opportunity to run to epic lengths.
Matches between Okada and Tanahashi are very much the epitome of the modern main event style, a style difficult to pin down in a sentence, but one that seems to amalgamate a little bit of everything good and operate with a sensible structure that leads through the psychology of limb work to pre-determined tugs on the momentum of the match toward the inexorable exchange of counters, reversals and ultimately, finishers.
Often this style can be dull as ditchwater and completely predictable, as well as lacking that visceral bone-on-bone thud that heavyweight midcarders often present. Between these two, as made for each other as Fred and Ginger, it is elevated to the highest aspect of the artform; the multi-stranded narrative that is compiled bit by bit.
For example: when Okada faced down Tanahashi after he captured the title at King of Pro-Wrestling, his speech touched on how Tanahashi was essentially past it and that Okada wasn't some flash-in-the-pan but a 2-time champ, 2-time G1 winner and was set to take over as the face of the company for the foreseeable. A few minutes into the match, as Okada dominates Tanahashi, with the champ struggling to get his punches in, my friend (who wasn't in on the story) turns and says "they're doing a great job of making Tanahashi look past it." These two are such masters of the wrestling language that they can make bits of their match map onto the trajectory of their story.
And if you're a fan of MOVEZ then this match had those too: Tanahashi took a leaf out of his idol Shawn Michaels' playbook by unleashing a Big Show Death Defying Leap, hitting the High Fly Flow crossbody over the railing from the top turnbuckle. In the ring, Tanahashi pasted Okada with another High Fly Flow, usually certain death, but the challenger kicked out. Returning the favour, Tanahashi kicked out of the Rainmaker, which Okada reversed into after the champion impudently attempted one of his own. Oh, and Okada hit that dropkick. I honestly can't believe how over a fucking dropkick is in 2015 but goddamn it's a good dropkick.
Anyway. This match is really really good. It's a 30 minuter, which in this day and age feels archaic, but it's worth it. At the conclusion of the match itself, won by Tanahashi with High Fly Flow, I felt it was the thinnest sliver beneath the previous match.
But, as Okada left, he burst into tears. As a dramatic flourish it possessed something the Nakamura match did not. It was fine acting, the rich boy who has struggled to connect because his freakish athleticism and moneymaking gimmick makes him practically unrelatable and untouchable becoming completely human.
Tanahashi celebrated in the ring after cutting a smug promo toward Okada in the midst of his emotional retreat. No one challenged him and the show closed with the exhalation of everyone watching wondering how the hell anyone can top this this year. *****
Tanahashi d. Okada
Fuck me! This looks a hell of a read! Generally enjoy your reviews tho, so im gonna give it a read. Keep up the good work, its appreciated...
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